In for a Rougher Ride?

My oncologist called tonight to give me the results of my pathology report. (That's never a very good sign.)

My path slides were actually sent to Harvard instead of MD Anderson. I don't know why, and I don't really care why -- both are very reputable hospitals.

At any rate, Harvard confirmed that I have more invasive cancer than previously thought... My oncologist will talk to me about treatment options on Monday and start treatment then too. I think he wanted to confirm the information with me, give me a chance to digest it over the weekend and then talk "shop" more easily on Monday. I was expecting to start some form of chemotherapy on Monday anyway -- now it might be harsher drugs and/or for a longer treatment period? I really don't know.

Prognosis-wise, this doesn't really change anything. It is concerning that the cancer is as fast growing as it has been. It has been a very sneaky cancer.

But, the doctors consistently think that this is cancer that was there before -- that it was not mature enough to respond to the chemotherapy, and (since it was no where close to my lumpectomy site) it was not removed surgically. If I could go back, I would definitely choose a different treatment option, but I am different person now, too. Much more informed, much stronger. I wasn't ready for a mastectomy 2 years ago. Such is life.

So now what?

Philippians 4:8 says: Finally dear brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
What I know to be true is that (1) cancer has NOT been found anywhere else in my body besides the breast; that is excellent news! (2) I have a good relationship with my medical team and confidence in them. When they need more information, they do things like send my slides to other hospitals. They're aggressive in treatment, willing to answer questions, and to make Friday evening phone calls. I'm blessed. (3) Finally, God is in control of my situation. I might not like the ride that I'm on, but He's with me and watching over me.

All of these things are true. I will choose to think on them, and I will get through this. It will just be a little more work than we had initially thought...

Diet Coke and Jell-O

Tuesday (6/24) I had my first Zometa treatment. This is a bone building treatment that has shown promise in reducing the spread of cancer to the bone. My doctor suggested this is a pro-active course of treatment -- my body scans have all been clean -- this medication is another tool to help ensure that my body is strong and resistant to the spread of cancer.

The Zometa is given by IV drip, and everything went like clock work. The nurse found a vein on the first try (something difficult to do with me), and the infusion took about 30 minutes. I was in and out of the office within an hour -- very efficient in terms of doctor visits! Afterwards, I felt fine -- Liam and I went to the library for a bit, we had dinner and then we went to see The Incredible Hulk (Paul was golfing; older boys were away on their mission trip).

But, oh my... about midnight on Tuesday my body really revolted against the Zometa -- I had fever, body aches and general aches all through my body. For the first time ever on chemo, I was sick enough to throw up... It was not pretty... The only food that sounded even remotely good was Diet Coke or Jell-O. I'll be talking to my doctor about this experience -- to see if I can get any meds with the Zometa to help me tolerate it better next time. Even today (Friday) I still have achi-ness in my legs...

Monday Paul and I see my oncologist in Royal Oak -- that is when I hope to get the information back from MD Anderson and to find out for sure about my chemotherapy treatments. I am anticipating 4 treatments over the next 12 weeks. I'll know for sure on Monday.

Shane and Tyler have called from Montana -- they assure us they are having a good time. Their work on the Habitat houses was finished Thursday, and Friday they are backpacking up into the Montana mountains for about 4 days.

Sunday Liam and Paul are going to a Detroit Tigers game with our brother-in-law and nephew. Liam loves anything that involves sports, and one of his favorite things to do is to pitch back and forth with us in our back yard. He is very excited for the game! It is a real treat that Scott had tickets to share with us like this!

Today Was a Good Day!

Today was a good day -- my surgical drain was finally (5 weeks, post-surgery) removed!!! If you've ever had a surgical drain, then you know my joy. If not, I will spare you the details. Just know it is a liberating feeling! One more step toward restored health.

I still have to watch my activity level for the next couple of weeks -- no heavy lifting (i.e. laundry baskets) or speed walking (like I ever!?) -- but within the next couple of weeks I should be almost good as new. All set to begin chemotherapy....

Tomorrow (Tuesday) I will have my first Zometa infusion. Zometa is an osteoporosis medication that has been found to reduce bone metastasis (spread of cancer) by something like 33%. The infusions are given once every six months (for how long? I don't know), and I've read that they can cause mild, flu-like symptoms. I'm hoping it is pretty mild -- Liam and I have plans for the cinema on Tuesday evening while Dad is at golf and Brothers are on their mission trip. Last I heard we are going to see the Incredible Hulk movie?

A Quieter Home

Shane and Tyler left yesterday (Friday) for their church mission trip -- they and 16 others will be working on a Habitat for Humanity house in Bozeman, MT for one week. Afterward, most of the group is backpacking in the mountains nearby, where they'll sleep in tents and backpack day trails for 3-4 days. It is really a very special trip -- they're traveling to MT by Amtrak and chartered bus ( b/c of flooding). Road trip! They'll have the "mission" part of the trip by working on the HFH house. And will see a part of the country that neither of them has ever experienced. They'll be encouraged to have a daily devotion -- and how awesome will that be while in the mountains!?

I received a phone call Thursday evening that my doctor's orders for the Zometa (the bone building meds) have been sent to Midland -- Yea!! I should have called on Friday to schedule the infusion, but I put it off -- we went up north for the day and I wanted a "normal" day with the boys before they left for their trip. Now I'm kicking myself -- hopefully I will be able to get the Zometa (which can cause flu like symptoms, etc.) early in the week so I am "recovered" and able to get chemo on Monday, June 30. I didn't think about the scheduling issue of it all until late Friday evening. My bad.

My "latest and greatest" kick is to try to reduce my fat intake and (eventually) increase my exercise each day. "Studies have shown" that this combination is beneficial for reducing breast cancer recurrence, and possibly most so for women with triple negative BC, like I have. Trouble is, the recommended fat intake per day is only 33 grams. When I started with the idea, that sounded like a lot. But, today I started actually counting fat grams -- the butter alone on my breakfast toast and dinner corn-on-the cob added up to almost a third of what I'm supposed to have in a given day! I have some learning to do, that is for sure. Keeping a food journal (ugh!) will be helpful, but I have to confess -- after I realized tonight how pitifully I had blown my goal, I drowned my sorrows in a bowl of ice cream. Tomorrow is another day...

Cancer Treatment Moves Slowly

I thought I would update folks on what is happening (or not) in regards to my treatment.

My oncologist is out of town all this week, so my chemo cannot be scheduled until the week of June 23. But, between our schedule and the doctor's schedule, we couldn't get a chemo appointment set up until June 30. This is a longer wait time than I would have liked, but I am trusting that it will be okay.

Last week we met with an oncologist in Midland to try to get a treatment of Zometa for me. This is a bone building drug that has been shown to reduce a breast cancer recurrence by almost 33%! Fantastic, fantastic news for any breast cancer patient! (This is a very recent break-thru -- for more information, Google "Zometa" and browse news articles).

Long story short, I was not able to get the Zometa last week. It was a big disappointment for me, particularly because the delay was due to communication error between Midland and Royal Oak oncologists. Hopefully will get the Zometa on June 30 -- or earlier if it can be scheduled once my oncologist is back in town. (Yes, I have thought about calling my onc's office during his vacation to get someone else to order the Zometa treatment, but that is like having "too many cooks in the kitchen." I think it is safe to wait another week, and keep as few people out of the loop as possible.)

So... June 30 is the big day for me. It is when I'll find out what M.D. Andersen has found, and when I hear for sure about chemotherapy from my oncologist. I am 95% certain I'll have more chemo, and frankly, I'll be disappointed if he says, "No chemo." It is not that I want the drugs or to put my life on hold again, but I also want to FIGHT this cancer.

I've been reading a book called Mistaken Identity. Actually, I only started reading it this morning, but it is one of those books that you just cannot put down. It is the true story about two girls who were in a car crash in 2006 -- one lived and one died. Only after five weeks in the hospital, did anyone realize they had pronounced the wrong girl dead.

Books like that really intrigue me -- how normal people work through life changing events. The families in the book are incredibly strong Christians -- stronger than anyone I know and certainly more so than me. At one point, the mother of the living (but presumed dead) daughter explains how her daughter ended up attending Taylor University -- that all the circumstances fit together in such a way that it was clearly God's plan. The logical argument is that the car crash (and the mixed identities) must also be part of God's grand plan. Not something that anyone would wish for or can even understand. But part of the plan, nonetheless.

I guess I feel the same way about my cancer. In April when I was being diagnosed, all of the doctor's visits just "fit" into my schedule without any conflict. The cancer prayer group that I started for other people several months ago was a real source of encouragement for me recently. And, the unexpected extra time at home with the boys has been one of real bonding. The boys are old enough to be a help around the house (they're learning new skills!), and old enough that we can enjoy movies, games and such together. And, since I'm not supposed to be driving on my own for several weeks, Shane has been my chauffeur. He's had a great attitude about this, and we've had some interesting talks that I am sure would not have happened otherwise.

So, do I understand or even like this cancer. Definitely not! Do I feel like it is part of a grand plan, bigger than my way of thinking or understanding? Yes, I do. The trick is to accept this, and to live contently with it. Truth be told, I'm still working on that. But, I guess we all are a work in progress, aren't we!?

The saga continues....

This is the first post to yet another "update" website. I like this format better -- mainly because it does not have any irritating advertisements or surveys to bother people! :-)

My cancer journey has been a "good news, bad news" kind of saga. The bad news of course is that my recurrence happened so quickly. Less than a year after my standard treatment ended. We knew that my cancer ("triple negative") had a high recurrence rate (due to the lack of meds available for it?), but we have been literally stunned that it came back so quickly.

The good news is that it appears we caught the recurrence before it had a chance to move elsewhere in my body. My bone and CT scans were all "clean." My lymph nodes were removed from my previous treatment, but the cancer can still move elsewhere in my body through the blood vessels. The safest course of action is do chemotherapy again. My oncologist is considering a new drug, approved late 2007, which has shown to be helpful with my cancer.

But, cancer treatment never moves very quickly. I talked to my oncologist on the phone last night, and he said the pathologists are still having a hard time with my cancer -- trying to determine how much is "precancer" versus full grown cancer. I asked my oncologist about getting a second opinion, about going to a center that deals only with breast cancer. He answered that instead of doing that, he'd rather send my tissue samples to M.D. Andersen and get their opinion.

Long pause.

"You can do that? Without me having to travel to TX?" (and uproot my family and spend our family savings and... )

"Sure. In fact, I'd feel best about doing that. Why don't we do that? I'll get it set up and ready to go tomorrow."

Another long pause.

Wow.

So now my tissue samples are being sent to one of the best cancer center treatments in the country, for their analysis and recommendation. A second, stunning moment for me!

In the meantime, I am setting up appointments to meet with oncologists here in Midland -- the bulk of my treatment will still be in Royal Oak, but some of it (follow up shots) will be done here at home. Hopefully, a good compromise for my health and our family schedule.

God is surely in the details of my situation. Just when I thought we had one defined course of action, He opens the door to another set of experts and treatment possibilities. It makes me feel more hopeful -- to have the folks at M.D. Andersen look at my tissue samples, and for the treatment discussions/decisions it might influence. If only to confirm that the course of treatment we are considering is the best -- that will help bring a more complete sense of peace to me in this situation.

We all have said it at one time or another -- myself, Paul and my oncologist -- that more needs to be learned about treating triple negative breast cancer. Treatment decisions at this point are very random (think "Wheel of Fortune"). I feel much better to think that God is the one spinning the wheel.

I'd like to buy a vowel, please...