Walking on Water -- Sink or Swim?: January 2022

Thursday, January 6, 2022

This is a collection of blog posts I wrote while going through breast cancer treatment, from September 2006 through 2009.

It is a journey I could not have navigated without the support of my husband, Paul, nor our many friends and family.

My oncologist at Beaumont Royal Oak, Dr. Jeffrey Margolis M.D. has a tenacity and genius for treating cancer. His patients are like a puzzle to him. I credit him with the medical insight and boldness to cure my cancer, both in terms of the medicines he used and his never-give-up attitude.

Lastly, I cannot imagine battling cancer without a strong faith in GOD. In Matthew 14, Peter literally walked on water because of the power of Jesus. It was only when Peter took his eyes off the LORD that he started to sink. As much as possible, then and today in 2022, I try to keep my eyes on Jesus. To stay above the waves of this world, despite the storms happening around me.

Cancer interrupted my life and the life of our three boys in September 2008. I would find out after-the-fact that Paul denied an invitation to potentially move our family to Japan during my first diagnosis. I still don't understand the providence of God to allow my cancer in lieu of that move, but I do trust He had good reason. And I am grateful for my life, today.

The boys were quite young when I was sick, and parenting in this situation was new territory for Paul and me. Our attempts to shield and protect them from worrying only resulted in making their fears greater. This is my greatest regret about this period of my/their life. It was not intentional to keep them "in the dark," but we thought that a "business as usual" attitude would help them keep some normalcy in their lives. My treatments were generally 2 hours away from home. By the time Paul and I had made that drive, we had debriefed from the earlier day's events and were ready to launch in to Mommy and Daddy mode. But the boys still had questions they didn't know how to ask, and we didn't realize they needed answers. Neither parenting, nor cancer, come with instruction manuals. We did, and still do, the very best we can. I hope and pray it will become enough.

Highlights of My Journey

I know that other breast cancer patients and survivors visit this site. The following is a history of my cancer journey. Feel free to email with me any questions:

Sept. 2006 -- diagnosed (eventually) with T2 N1 M0 "triple negative" breast cancer of the left breast. MRI of both breasts indicated only the one tumor. Age 40 @ dx. Three young boys, a wonderful husband, and great friends and family. My doctor says we all need the three F's -- Friends, Family and Faith.

Oct. 06 thru January 2007 -- Began chemotherapy: taxotere, adriamycin and cyclophosphamide (TAC). Six cycles, given every three weeks.

December 2006 -- tested negative for BRAC1 and BRAC2.

Feb. 2007 -- Lumpectomy. Results showed tumor had an incomplete response to the chemotherapy (some shrinking, but not completely gone). My oncologist recommended more chemotherapy after radiation. I had "close margins," and had a re-excision in early March.

March 26 thru May 9, 2007 -- Whole left breast radiation. Daily. "Boost" treatment just to tumor bed during last week. Met some great friends there.

May 13 thru September 7, 2007 -- oral Xeloda prescribed by my oncologist as "insurance." Easily tolerated. In hindsight, not sure it was very useful?

October 24, 2007 -- Mammogram. Declared "normal," except for concerns near incision location. We should have checked into this more thoroughly, but wrote it off as scar tissue/radiation affects. It's only been a year since first cancer was found -- must be too soon for any problems, right? Wrong.

March 2008 -- MRI showed "large area of abnormal enhancement" with increased blood flow. Both suspicious for malilgancy. This was confirmed via biopsy. Over the next couple of months doctors had very difficult time quantifying how much cancer was in my breast. My diagnosis went from DCIS (pre-biopsy) up to as much as 4cm of actual cancer in the breast, after mastectomy. A wild ride!

May 19, 2008 -- left breast, simple mastectomy with latissimus dorsi (back flap) flap. A hard recovery, but okay now. Woulda, coulda, shoulda had the mastectomy the first day cancer was ever found....

June 6, 2008 -- Bone Scan and CT Scan -- all NORMAL, no sign of cancer elsewhere in the body! Praise God! It is a bummer that the cancer is back, but it could have been so much worse...

June 24, 2008 -- Zometa infusion for bone strength, and to deter bone mets. Very achy a few days afterward.

June 20-Sept 8 -- Chemotherapy: Taxotere and Gemzar.

September 22 -- Began Carboplatin chemotherapy. Will be finished by Thanksgiving 2008.

October 2008 -- Major setback: implant spacer became infected (pseudomonas aeruginosa), and had to be removed. Blood levels crashed. I spent 8 days in the hospital, received multiple RBC and platelet infusions, and was on IV antibiotics for almost the entire month.

Nov/Dec 2008 -- We tried a second dose of Carboplatin, (a reduced dosage, even), but my blood levels crashed again. Doctor said, "No more chemo." Received RBC transfusion mid-December.

2008-2012 -- annual CT, bone scan, MRI and mammogram, as well as regular visits to my oncologists (every 6mos).

June 2012 -- my oncologist used the most beautiful C-word in the dictionary -- Cured! :-) I will still have an annual MRI and mammogram and check in with him once a year, but he considers me past the point of having to be monitored specifically for cancer. Triple negative IS treatable!