Yesterday was Midland's Relay for Life -- what fun! I'm blessed with a friend in our church who puts her heart and soul into creating a booth for the event every year. She and her large circle of friends put together the BEST booth in the whole event -- quality food, attractive theme for the booth, and lots of warmth and love! I had planned to work a good part of the day, either selling food or walking laps. But, Sharon was gracious to let me just enjoy the day. Liam and I were there on our own, as this is the weekend that Paul and the older boys left for the scouting trip to Philmont. We spent too much money on cheap games, but also participated in the survivor's lap, the care giver's lap and the luminary ceremony. And, it was sweet of Rich to dedicate his walk as "Miss Relay" to me and another neighbor Sue who fought breast cancer this spring. He was a great Miss Relay, and took the prize again this year!
I've done three Komen walks already, but Relay is really a special event. It is very laid back with good music and a strong positive spirit through out the day. I enjoyed spending the day with friends, and just being together. The luminary ceremony at the end of the day is great. Presentations are given at the grand stand, luminaries are lit around the relay track, and then everyone walks around the track, silently, with candles lit. It is touching in a way very unique to Relay.
My birthday was on Friday.... a busy day since Paul and the boys were getting ready to go on their trip. And we could not go out as a family because Paul is still starving (I mean, dieting) himself into oblivion....
Dad's birthday is today.... I still need to call him.... (sheepish grin).
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Follow-Up With Oncologist -- Pretty Good News
Friday was a whirlwind day. Paul, Shane, Liam and I left the house around 8:30 a.m. to drive to Ann Arbor for a walking tour of University of Michigan. Tyler would have appreciated seeing UofM, but he stayed home to take care of our boston terrier. I think he also appreciated the quiet house all to himself! :-)
The walking tour was a good experience. Shane is not sure the college is for him -- perhaps it is too urban and too big? He said his original plan was to apply at UofM (as well as Michigan Tech and others), and to go to UofM if he was accepted -- no matter what. After seeing the campus, he is not so sure anymore. We suggested that he apply... if is he accepted, he can go through the engineering tour and then make a final decision.
Next we made a quick stop for lunch, an unplanned stop at the REI Camping/Outdoors store, and then finally to my oncologist's office. The nurses there were so nice -- talking about how good I look since they saw me in January... a real boost to my ego! :-)
My blood work was fine... My white blood counts are still low, but my overall "composite" number that is used to evaluate my "infection fighting ability" is within normal range. The doctor is happy, so I am happy.
Doc wants me to have the follow-up MRI, but he doesn't anticipate a problem; concurs with radiologist's opinion that differences/concerns are related to scar tissue and surgery.
He wants me to also have a mammogram in October. Said that he just had a tumor board meeting that morning, and a woman had breast cancer detected by her mammogram that was missed on the MRI. Message to all the women --> mammograms are important! Don't put them off, no matter what you read in the media!
And, doc wants me to have the pelvic ultrasound again. He suggests having my ovaries removed if they are still larger than the ultrasound a few weeks ago. He said this as quickly and as casually as one might suggest throwing out an old pair of shoes?
So, between now and Christmas, I have three medical exams, three doctors appointments, and potentially a surgery. Paul's sister has heard of a homeopathic doctor near Detroit -- I think it is time to see him, as well. The medical doctors have saved my life; maybe another doctor can help save what's left of my body?? It is worth a shot...
After the doctor's visit, we visited quickly with Paul's parents, stopped at Trader Joe's, and then finally came home. We were home about 10:00 p.m. -- it was a long day!
But, I am not complaining! I am full of joy to go on a college tour with my son AND to get good news from my oncologist.
Life is good!
I have felt better in the past few weeks then I have felt in years -- the overall feeling of fatigue is gone. Thursday night, Paul and I rode bikes for over an hour on the rail trail. I am bouncing back, and getting healthier. I am working on losing weight, and getting healthier.
There is life after cancer.
Amen and amen!
The walking tour was a good experience. Shane is not sure the college is for him -- perhaps it is too urban and too big? He said his original plan was to apply at UofM (as well as Michigan Tech and others), and to go to UofM if he was accepted -- no matter what. After seeing the campus, he is not so sure anymore. We suggested that he apply... if is he accepted, he can go through the engineering tour and then make a final decision.
Next we made a quick stop for lunch, an unplanned stop at the REI Camping/Outdoors store, and then finally to my oncologist's office. The nurses there were so nice -- talking about how good I look since they saw me in January... a real boost to my ego! :-)
My blood work was fine... My white blood counts are still low, but my overall "composite" number that is used to evaluate my "infection fighting ability" is within normal range. The doctor is happy, so I am happy.
Doc wants me to have the follow-up MRI, but he doesn't anticipate a problem; concurs with radiologist's opinion that differences/concerns are related to scar tissue and surgery.
He wants me to also have a mammogram in October. Said that he just had a tumor board meeting that morning, and a woman had breast cancer detected by her mammogram that was missed on the MRI. Message to all the women --> mammograms are important! Don't put them off, no matter what you read in the media!
And, doc wants me to have the pelvic ultrasound again. He suggests having my ovaries removed if they are still larger than the ultrasound a few weeks ago. He said this as quickly and as casually as one might suggest throwing out an old pair of shoes?
So, between now and Christmas, I have three medical exams, three doctors appointments, and potentially a surgery. Paul's sister has heard of a homeopathic doctor near Detroit -- I think it is time to see him, as well. The medical doctors have saved my life; maybe another doctor can help save what's left of my body?? It is worth a shot...
After the doctor's visit, we visited quickly with Paul's parents, stopped at Trader Joe's, and then finally came home. We were home about 10:00 p.m. -- it was a long day!
But, I am not complaining! I am full of joy to go on a college tour with my son AND to get good news from my oncologist.
Life is good!
I have felt better in the past few weeks then I have felt in years -- the overall feeling of fatigue is gone. Thursday night, Paul and I rode bikes for over an hour on the rail trail. I am bouncing back, and getting healthier. I am working on losing weight, and getting healthier.
There is life after cancer.
Amen and amen!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
News You Can Use
From the Susan G. Komen website: results from two studies that will perhaps change the way breast cancer (and other female cancers) is treated?
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Consistently Good News
Since my ultrasound about ten days ago, I've talked to two OB/GYN docs and two oncologists -- all four agree that my ultrasound does not indicate any signs of cancer, and that doing a follow-up scan in 2 months is very reasonable.
Big sigh of relief....
Just started reading Gail Konop Baker's Cancer is a Bitch (Or, I'd Rather Be Having a Mid-Life Crisis). It is a hoot! And very real to how I felt in many respects when I was first dx'd. She is a talented writer. Just beaware, she uses some raw language. But, raw is how you feel when cancer is introduced into your life...
Big sigh of relief....
Just started reading Gail Konop Baker's Cancer is a Bitch (Or, I'd Rather Be Having a Mid-Life Crisis). It is a hoot! And very real to how I felt in many respects when I was first dx'd. She is a talented writer. Just beaware, she uses some raw language. But, raw is how you feel when cancer is introduced into your life...
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
How Much Info is Too Much Info?
Well, I talked to my doctor this morning. Actually, not my doctor, but his colleague because my doc was not in the office until the afternoon. But, my doc delivered my first son 16 years ago, and his colleague delivered our second and third sons -- I have a long history with both docs, and appreciate/trust either of their input.
The results of my pelvic ultrasound are inconclusive. The doctor didn't use that word, but that is the result. I have a "simple cyst" on my left ovary, and the lining of my uterus is a bit thicker than normal. These are things that happen on a regular basis when women ovulate, go through menopause, eat chocolate... (no, that last bit was really a joke! couldn't resist... )
But the point is that the findings of the pelvic ultrasound could imply a problem, or they could be completely normal for me.
My doc wants to have another pelvic ultrasound in 2 months to check for changes, good or bad. The other option is to have a surgical biopsy, which honestly, I am not up for at the moment. It seems like an over reaction to what might be a very benign situation, even with my history of cancer --> I had a cyst two years ago when they did a CT scan, it was gone this spring when they did another CT scan, and now it is back again. They come and they go.
Two doctors in my OB/GYN office will review my report... I have two oncologist (one local, one at a large hospital down state), and my surgical oncologist. I will fax copies of the report to all of them, and follow up -- if anyone ONE of them suggests a specialist (gynecological oncologist, or surgery) then I will not ignore that. Otherwise, I will have the second ultrasound in 2 months and let it all stay securely in God's hands.
The results of my pelvic ultrasound are inconclusive. The doctor didn't use that word, but that is the result. I have a "simple cyst" on my left ovary, and the lining of my uterus is a bit thicker than normal. These are things that happen on a regular basis when women ovulate, go through menopause, eat chocolate... (no, that last bit was really a joke! couldn't resist... )
But the point is that the findings of the pelvic ultrasound could imply a problem, or they could be completely normal for me.
My doc wants to have another pelvic ultrasound in 2 months to check for changes, good or bad. The other option is to have a surgical biopsy, which honestly, I am not up for at the moment. It seems like an over reaction to what might be a very benign situation, even with my history of cancer --> I had a cyst two years ago when they did a CT scan, it was gone this spring when they did another CT scan, and now it is back again. They come and they go.
Two doctors in my OB/GYN office will review my report... I have two oncologist (one local, one at a large hospital down state), and my surgical oncologist. I will fax copies of the report to all of them, and follow up -- if anyone ONE of them suggests a specialist (gynecological oncologist, or surgery) then I will not ignore that. Otherwise, I will have the second ultrasound in 2 months and let it all stay securely in God's hands.
Monday, June 1, 2009
A Surreal Day....
This morning I was a normal mom...
... and I went to work at the library.
Afterward, I went to the hospital to have my medi-port flushed -- something I have to do every 4-6 weeks to keep the tubing from being clogged....
... and then, I had my pelvic ultrasound. "Invasive" is the only description I'll give. Now or ever....
Afterward, I went home to make dinner, drive to Liam's baseball game, and then to church for a meeting.
How surreal is my life that cancer and its treatments just network their way into my daily routine? As routinely as some people go to the grocery store, I go to the hospital. This existence is true for everyone who has a chronic illness, but it is especially unsettling to me. Friends and family consider my cancer treatment to be over; they have moved on and believe that I can/have, too. But, cancer is a shadow over most of my days. Some days emotionally or mentally. Today, physically.
The ultrasound was more unnerving today than I had anticipated. The technician was all business, and gave no impression one way or the other about what she saw. Even bad news would have been reassuring -- the not knowing is very hard.
I will not write about what I think the outcome will be, or how I feel physically (and hence, imply what the outcome will be). I've learned that a cancer diagnosis is not dependent upon how a person feels or looks. That is partly why it is such a sneaky, despicable disease -- it preys upon people in the fullness of their life.
No, you will just have to wait for the results, as will I. Hope and pray that they are conclusively benign. A cancer decision would be devastating. An inconclusive result will mean more tests, more time, and more worry.
When people talk about "fighting" cancer, I believe they are talking about the folks who have gone through the disease multiple times or who are incurable. I don't mean any disrespect to the "one timers" of cancer, but that can honestly be an easy fight. The treatment is terrible, but if the outcome is certain and binding, the ordeal for the person is over.
But to address the disease multiple times... or to know that it will ultimately be the reason you die, prematurely... Well, that is where the fight is most necessary. It is a physical fight because the disease drains of you energy and the treatment takes whatever is left over. And it is an emotional fight because it just mentally punches you and beats you down over and over and over and over again.... It does not fight fair. It is hard to have to have energy to even care to fight the disease.
It always seems to win, so why try?
But we must try, or not go on. That is where the support of family and friends and faith become so important. When we cannot go on... cannot endure another test or another treatment... do not care anymore whether we "beat" the disease or not....
That is when we need family and friends and faith to care for us. To fight for us. To encourage us and lift us up. To care when we are physically and emotionally spent, and no longer give a damn. That is the point at which a cancer patient must "fight."
God willing, my test results will be benign. Only time will tell...
... and I went to work at the library.
Afterward, I went to the hospital to have my medi-port flushed -- something I have to do every 4-6 weeks to keep the tubing from being clogged....
... and then, I had my pelvic ultrasound. "Invasive" is the only description I'll give. Now or ever....
Afterward, I went home to make dinner, drive to Liam's baseball game, and then to church for a meeting.
How surreal is my life that cancer and its treatments just network their way into my daily routine? As routinely as some people go to the grocery store, I go to the hospital. This existence is true for everyone who has a chronic illness, but it is especially unsettling to me. Friends and family consider my cancer treatment to be over; they have moved on and believe that I can/have, too. But, cancer is a shadow over most of my days. Some days emotionally or mentally. Today, physically.
The ultrasound was more unnerving today than I had anticipated. The technician was all business, and gave no impression one way or the other about what she saw. Even bad news would have been reassuring -- the not knowing is very hard.
I will not write about what I think the outcome will be, or how I feel physically (and hence, imply what the outcome will be). I've learned that a cancer diagnosis is not dependent upon how a person feels or looks. That is partly why it is such a sneaky, despicable disease -- it preys upon people in the fullness of their life.
No, you will just have to wait for the results, as will I. Hope and pray that they are conclusively benign. A cancer decision would be devastating. An inconclusive result will mean more tests, more time, and more worry.
When people talk about "fighting" cancer, I believe they are talking about the folks who have gone through the disease multiple times or who are incurable. I don't mean any disrespect to the "one timers" of cancer, but that can honestly be an easy fight. The treatment is terrible, but if the outcome is certain and binding, the ordeal for the person is over.
But to address the disease multiple times... or to know that it will ultimately be the reason you die, prematurely... Well, that is where the fight is most necessary. It is a physical fight because the disease drains of you energy and the treatment takes whatever is left over. And it is an emotional fight because it just mentally punches you and beats you down over and over and over and over again.... It does not fight fair. It is hard to have to have energy to even care to fight the disease.
It always seems to win, so why try?
But we must try, or not go on. That is where the support of family and friends and faith become so important. When we cannot go on... cannot endure another test or another treatment... do not care anymore whether we "beat" the disease or not....
That is when we need family and friends and faith to care for us. To fight for us. To encourage us and lift us up. To care when we are physically and emotionally spent, and no longer give a damn. That is the point at which a cancer patient must "fight."
God willing, my test results will be benign. Only time will tell...
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Detroit Race for the Cure
Well, we had a beautiful day for our walk! The weather was just right for walking -- not too cold or too hot. The race was CROWDED -- I don't know how many attended, but I heard something along the lines of 50,000 people, and that this was the biggest race Detroit has ever had! Liam really enjoyed all the "bling" of the day -- he wore the pink hat, two scarves, a pink cape and a couple of hat buttons that were handed out for free. He held my hand during almost the entire race. I think he and Tyler enjoyed the day the most? Although Karen commented later in the day that it was so inspiring because of all the positive energy -- that many people "celebrating" and remembering loved ones creates a lot of good feelings all around. After the race, we went to Greek town. The highlight of the meal was flaming cheese -- a thick, breaded slice of white cheese, doused with brandy and then lit on fire. Oh-pah!
After Greek Town, we came back to Karen and Scott's house where we all relaxed, and had dinner with Paul's parents and sister, Linda. We are now watching the Tigers game, and will soon watch the Red Wings. A good day all around!
I doubt we will walk the race in the future as a whole family again (?), but I am thankful that we go to do it today. It is affirming to share something positive about breast cancer -- the disease takes such a toll on our lives, otherwise. This is an experience that my family will has shared with good memories -- something to look back on in years to come as a milestone in my cancer journey. It ain't all about chemo appointments, you know!
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